This morning I began my day walking in to Uni behind some young women with expensive looking bags and a particular brand of boots that I know for a fact cost around 100 pounds or more. The walk to uni takes us past a big issue seller, a vocal one shouting ‘don’t be shy, give it a try, buy the big issue’, these young women with 100pounds plus boots respond by saying ’shut up’ to each other. I was on my own, I very nearly walked up to them and shouted at them, but resorted to saying ‘rude’ very loudly, which felt like a bit of a cop out. It is hard for me to even imagine the thought processes of someone who can afford to spend what would be half a month’s rent money on shoes, saying ’shut up’ about a homeless person trying to make a living. Then again, maybe the rich shouldn’t have their walk to uni disrupted by shouty poverty.
I am now very angry that the union that is supposed to represent my interests has decided to play into rape culture in such an unthinking fashion, but then, perhaps given what I have heard this morning, oblivious stupidity from a place of privalege is what the University of Edinburgh is all about.
There has no doubt been plenty written in the feminist blogosphere about use of the word pimping, and why it is objectionable (see here) as well as this excellent video about misogyny and hip hop, bell hooks also writes well on the subject. Nontheless you do not need to be well versed in feminist theory, or hip hop to make the following obvious connections..
Pimping means to sell women, to prostitute vulnerable women to make money, often through the coersive use of violence and sexual assault. To use pimping to mean ‘good’ or ‘an improvement’ or ‘to dress up’ , connects the abuse of women to a positive cultural phenomenon. Given the number of women who are raped/abused/subject to violence by men, this is bad.
I am unsurprised but dissappointed by University, and fully intend to take this further than this blog. I think it might be breaking the gender equality duty and intend to find out. At the very least, I will complain… at the very least.
Listners to spotify will be very familiar with the ’sex, it’s healthy to talk about it’ interludes, just a short moany post for me to articulate why it’s been getting on my nerves. In general I think trying to get people to be more honest and open about sex is a good thing and I applaud NHS Scotland for their efforts, though I think the adverts are poor.
The advert, you will be aware, is a young woman talking about how much she likes this guy she met at a party, they talk about all sorts of rubbish, they plan to go on holiday together – but they never talked about sex, like when was the right time, what contraception to use and then their relationship fell apart…
I guess I just don’t find this advert terribly realistic; I can believe relationships fall apart through lack of communication the idea that this would happen without the couple just having sex anyway seems a bit unreal. A more realistic advert would be ‘we had sex, didn’t enjoy it all that much but I just kept quiet because I don’t know how to talk about it.’ My main gripe is with the fact that though absolutely vital, contraception is not a big discussion, it’s very simple – condoms for a while, then get tested and then maybe use something else, if you want/can. Similarly when to have sex isn’t a big discussion either.. when you both want to. Sorted. There are a lot of things to talk about relating to sex and relationships; these adverts chose the biggest non topics and in doing so betray their aim (preventing certain people from having babies, preventing disease) and their inability to properly talk about sex.
The problem with the adverts is that despite wanting to get people to talk about sex, they only really discuss the physical health elements of sex, not the psycological, sociological and emotional parts of it. The personal preference stuff. The what you like and don’t like stuff, impact of previous sexual relationships, the stuff you ought to talk about. Surely How? is more of a discussion than when? (which has a limited scope for chat… um, now or not now, later maybe or not ever…?)
To be honest, the website is much better than the adverts, and does contain some stuff about how to talk about what you want though it is not nearly as good as progressive US website Scarleteen . Scarleteen goes into proper detail, and doesn’t have the air of embarrassment and focus on condoms/diseases that the NHS website has. Unlike the NHS website Scarleteen doesn’t have a target of preventing STIs/unwanted pregnancies – it looks at sexual health holistically with an understanding that when people feel good about themselves, their bodies and their sexual life they will be empowered to make healthy choices. I recommend this sexual anatomy article very hard, my only problem with the site is that their name probably puts off non teens, many of whom could learn a lot form it.
Though the NHS website is a step in the right direction; ultimately its lack of awareness of gendered social context is limiting, as is the underlying notion that successful sex is that which doesn’t end in pregnancy or disease.
I very much enjoyed reading this article about the people who have ruined the noughties. Some of it is a little bit ‘oh aren’t we so cool’ snide, but their assesment of Mondeo man is spot on; and I blame him for everything, New Labour, debt, my toothache.
In the spirit of the end of the decade, the decade of my ‘coming of age’ I thought I would write a similar list with some of the things they left out. Just for fun, as these ’summing up a decade in a few words’ probably reveal more about the position and mindset of the author than they do the decade in question…
Just 5 for now.
1. Porn.
Yup porn got everywhere in the noughties, even the word ‘noughties’ probably originiates in someone’s pornified idea that sex ought to be everywhere. When i say sex, I mean images of women, and when I say women, I mean girls and when I say girls I mean ones photoshopped and plucked till they are little more than ‘cartoons in the flesh’, bereft of their humanity. Also when I say sex, I mean cock in vagina sex – or two hetero woman fake lesbian action, a boring hegemonic heteronormative idea of what sex and female attractiveness is, where the male orgasm is the be all and end all, preferably swallowed. At worst Porn is misogynistic and abusive for those involved, at best (or, um, least worst?) it’s responsible for bringing festishistic shoes, that no one can walk in, into everyday wear.It has made women feel like they have to remove all of their body hair to be normal. It is responsible for a ushering in a particular look/style as the dominant mode of representation in pop videos and magazines alike, summed up more eloquently than I could manage by this quote from adbusters ;
‘ A spectacle of self loathing, pornographic femininty whose only designated function is to react to the opposing sex. She is a contorted product of the hypocritical arguments that fuel the fashion industry’s psuedo-intellectualism, deeply entrenched in the trappings of promiscuity but unable to actually pursue autonomous sexual acts. Defined by a highly expolitative carnality that is meant to empower’
This is something that happened fairly gradually, particularly in pop-music. In order to illustrate this point, here is classic 90s band Bewitched performing on TOTP.
When I was young and cool I hated Bewitched, but when I watch them now, jumping around in their denims, having a good ‘ole laugh I feel nostalgic. They seem positively liberated, feminist icons compared to say, Girls Aloud. Porn was the catalyst that moved us from ‘I’ll huff and puff and blow you away’ to ‘I’m just a love machine’, which is only one of many reasons why Porn has messed up the noughties, and why every time I hear that sodding ‘internet is for porn’ song I want to burn muppets.
2. The colour pink.
Ok, so like we are all apparently free to chose whatever colour we like for our *fave* but is every girl’s favourite colour pink? And would we really rather pay more for a lesser spec computer so we can have it in pink? Do we need pink garden things to enable ourselves to do garden work, or tools, or razors? Are we choosing it for it’s associations with girlishness to keep ourselves young? Are we threatened by technology in other colours? Was there so much pink about in the 90s cos I can’t remember?
3. Comedians.
Somewhere in the noughties comedy went a bit to shit. By went a bit to shit I mean, decided that ‘edgy’ meant a rape joke, and if you have a problem with that you might as well just bog off back to the Daily Mail. The Brand/Ross ‘debacle’ just polarized debate – you either love free speech, or are an over reacting hater. Putting the word peadophille in a set became perceived as a guaranteed way to get a laugh, which I’m not sure even Chris Morris would have forseen back when that episode of brass eye actually seemed to be making some kind of a comment.
4. The Metro
We lefty types pour scorn on The Sun, and mock the Mail (or the Fail or the Male depending on what point you want to make) but we don’t often complain about the Metro, a paper worse than both put together. Is the reason we don’t protest because it’s free? It’s owned by the Mail and probably the only paper that many come into contact with. It just sits there, on the bus, pretending to be as natural as oxygen though it is full of prejudice.
5. Programmes about making money from owning multiple houses.
I had hoped that the recession would kill these off, but every now and then on a weekday morning I turn on the tv, and stare blankly at one of these pathetic attempts for eye chewing gum before turning it off. I don’t care how much houses cost, because it’s more money than I have. These programmes assume an upper middle class norm, where everyone in the UK is free to spend 500k on a refurbished farmhouse in Devon. A home is somewhere to live, not an investment – also, anybody noticed how many homeless people there are around? Cos there are, like, a lot of homeless people – so why are we sitting inside watching people make loads of cash from buying ex council houses to refurbish and sell on at a profit? Does this make anyone else feel a bit sick?
Apparently yes, if it’s on a thin white woman’s ass. I am referring to today’s cover of Obseverver Woman magazine. Now I would think wearing fur as underpants is probably one of the worst reasons for wearing fur (unless you had some sort of disease which meant your bits had to be kept at a high temperature, but I’ve never heard of anything like that, not even on House)
A better illustration would have been people in a a blizzard far away from civilization with big fur coats on, or perhaps Harrison Ford and Mark Hamil on the ice planet Hoth.. that would have made the point better.
It seems like the best way to illustrate any point is with some objectification of women. Good one Observer. More FAIL from Guardian Media PLC..
Am writing this blog post in response to an irritating article in today’s Guardian, which is basically saying nothing more than ‘ woman says you can be pretty and still a feminist, you can like clothes and still a feminist’
The first annoying thing about this article, is on the home page of the Guardian they call Jill Berry a leading academic, she’s not, she’s a head-teacher. That is a bit of a difference, intended to give her opinions more weight than they actually deserve.
Second annoying thing is – who cares what the head of a bunch of independent girls schools think anyway? And what does she know about anything? If you have an unlimited or very large income (like, ooh say, girls who go to independent schools) it is actually quite easy to look good, have nice clothes and be clever and academic. I know, I go to university with these people. These girls, lucky for them, don’t have to make a choice between buying make up, and buying books -they can do both because they have money.
If you don’t have money you have to chose between getting an education and making yourself look good.Fashion might be a large part of your disposable income gone and then you might have less to spend on books/films whatever. If you have to work to earn the money to buy the clothes you might not have so much time for study. Taking things to an even less privaleged place, the clothes that we can so easily wear and discard at the whims of fashion industry tend to be sewn by women and children earning a pittence. We pay them nearly nothing so we can look good. Yes Jill, you can be a feminist and look nice – but you might also want to think about it a bit too.
Anyway, thankyou Jill for reminding us that women need to be attractive and intelligent, thankyou the Guardian for giving this paper-space.
On Tuesday this week I recorded Episode 2 of The Blether Report, which is a Feminist special! Seen as feminism is awesome, important and applicable to everything there will no doubt be more feminist blethers. This one covered Reclaim The Night, The Edinburgh Feminist Network and Ladyfest, and featured Hilary Cornish and Rachel Manners.We also discussed some recent women related news stories and added a few giggles, a token man and a couple of loose women type moments.
Like many feminists I don’t like PETA*, they are pretty infamous for uber sexist campaigns (for examples see here and here). However they cheered me up this morning with their Sea Kittens website. It’s clearly a means of manipulating children into feeling guilty about eating fish, which is ethically dubious (but obviously not unique to PETA). Still, children are manipulated all the time, the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, gendered toys…None of these are as wonderfully imaginative as the ’sea kitten’.
It’s based on the logic that we should call fish sea-kittens and then people wouldn’t want to eat them! They have a game where you can get a cute fish, and dress it up in a moustache and cat ears, they also have a book of bed-time stories about the lives of the sea kittens. One of them involves a sea kitten called Tony Trout who did neuroscience at university and then gets eaten by a boy who then falls to the bottom of the class (because of mercury in the fish).
Now I don’t know about you, but if a fish (or ’sea-kitten’) got a degree in neuroscience I wouldn’t eat it. To be honest if you could dress fish up in funny little costumes I might think twice about it.
They don’t do they though, study neuroscience, most kids probably know this….?
This is my Sea Kitten
Annie Cho Vhee was a middle class Sea Kitten with a bright future, but she got frustrated at school because she was cleverer than everyone else. She ended up taking a ton of drugs, which was largely due to the fact that she was questioning her gender identity and sexuality, nobody in her conservative coral even tried to understand. One night Annie was on a bad trip in an old sunken pirate ship where she met a mermaid called Ariel, who had an enchanting voice. They formed a Riot Grrl band called Urusla’s Devil Bitches, and eventually a loving committed relationship. Annie gave up the drugs and dedicated her life to music and to Ariel, they lived happily ever after. **
*(I’m actually pro-veggie (though a meat eater, yeah about that…)
** just one example of the sort of story I will be telling my children..
I really think Halloween is turning into my least favourite stupid holiday. Reason being the hyper-sexualisation of female costumes, stood side by side with the total non sexualisation of male ones feels like having the patriarchy rubbed in my face.
Last night whilst walking home from Haymarket I saw a girl in sky high heels dressed up as barbie, with a fake box around her. Also in her group was a young male dressed as Hilter. I like to think that they were dressed up as ’sexism’ and ‘racism’, but that’s far too much benefit of the doubt. In any case, even if they were dressed up as the racist patriarchy, they would have to have a sign saying ‘we are dressed up as the racist patriarchy, one of the most terrifying things we could think of’ otherwise they just end up looking like massive dicks.
I have had it, absolutely categorically fucking had it. I am completely fed up of men thinking that they deserve sex, that sex is something women own that they can just take whether we want it or not. I am fed up of counselling girlfriends through their past relationships with Mr X who did Y and Z that was abusive. How Y and Z affect her life now. How she doesn’t value herself because of it. How he probably doesn’t even know what he did, nor will he ever have to. How she blames herself. It’s not that I don’t want to listen, I do, I care and I will endlessly – I just would like for this shit to stop happening. Now. I am fed up of men who think they can in casual conversation say “X” had too much bush, or “I could never go out with a woman who burps”, or “women are nuts”. Fuck you. I am fed up of not being able to point this out, to point to men and patriarchy for fear of being called a man hating bitch. Fed up of being told that I look for sexism everywhere, that my experience is wrong or somehow biased. Fed up of rape as some kind of acceptable post modern joke.
I am angry that this rant applies to countless experiences of the women that I care about. I am angry that even in my privilaged position as a white western woman so much time is spent shovelling away all this bullshit. That we have to expend so much effort in coping and self protection.
It’s equal pay day today, which is the at which women might as well stop working. Women work on average 2 months without pay per year under the current gender pay gap. I don’t have very much to say about this, other than to link to this diagram from Shakeup media.
It explores two nearby buroughs at opposite ends of the pay gap, it’s an interesting image – Wokingham with average household incomes way above the national average, has a much larger disparity in pay than Haringy which is well below the national average. It also has a Tory council. Nuff said.
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